New Beginnings

I think I will make more of an effort from now on to update this blog. I realize that I keep a lot to myself. It's not that I'm afraid or that I don't have anyone to talk to, but rather I feel that no one cares or understands enough. It's like when someone isn't on the same page as you. You tell a joke but no one laughs because no one gets it. In the same way, you tell a story, and no one gets it. It leaves me with this unsatisfactory feeling. People rant to other people because it makes them feel better. If the person you are ranting to doesn't even understand your feelings, then there is no sigh of relief after the rant. Nothing changes. 

On another note, I decided to revert all my old posts back to drafts just because some of the posts were stupid. When I have time, I'll try to go through them and re-post the good ones.

22

Don't you think that when people are at this age, they would feel like they are in the prime of their life? For most people, they just finished college and they are going on epic trips to celebrate the end of their school years. At this age people feel young and they have all the energy to take on spontaneous trips and to stay out late at night and just live life on the edge. At the same time, they feel old enough to have the freedom to make their own decisions, to party hard and wasted, and just live life free from strict parental control. Well, that's what we all imagine it to be. When we are at this age, we feel so powerful, almost invincible, but the truth is, we are still just as fragile as we had been all along. When you're living life at full speed there is no time to stop and think about anything else especially slowing down. Have you ever stopped to consider how fragile a human life is? No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter what you do, your life can be taken away in an instance. None of us know what's going to happen in the next 30 seconds of our lives, next minute of our lives, or the next months and years of our lives. Every single second is as unpredictable as the next. For all we know, a massive earthquake could hit right now and the city could be wiped out. You could be driving home from work and get struck by a drunk driver. You could be walking on the street and get struck by a stray bullet. Death can come in the most unexpected and unpredictable ways. Imagine the movie "Final Destination". Our life can end from even the most unlikely accidents. Putting all that aside, what can be more dangerous than an unexpected accident or an intended murder is ourselves. The internal conflict we experience is powerful and can put ourselves in life and death situations. Just as we can lose our life in an instance from the impact of a car crash, we can can choose to end our own life in an instance. A human life is very high maintenance. No only do you need to satisfy its physical needs such as eating and staying healthy, but you also need to keep your mental stability in check. Both our physical and emotional health is not something that is constantly stable, but rather something we need to continue to maintain every day. Just as you need to exercise when you realize you are gaining weight, it is also important to seek help if you find that you are in a state of depression or emotional discomfort. Help doesn't need to be something as formal as meeting with a psychologist, but it can be as simple as pouring your heart out to a friend. You know how sometimes OTC medication can do the job better than the doctor. As people, not only do we need to watch out for our own emotional health, but also the emotional health of our friends, family, and others around us. Sometimes it takes courage to be the first one to step up and talk about something personal. Don't be afraid though because more than likely, someone will be feeling the exact same way. When you make that mutual connection with another person, it really feels comforting to know that you are not suffering alone. Today, I want to encourage you (and myself) to think about how much your friends and family mean to you. Think about a friend you haven't spoke with in a while and just ask them how they have been. Today, I had to experience the loss of a friend whom I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to. No matter what age we are at, whether we're 5 years old or 105, our lives are equally fragile. The phrase "you don't miss something until it's gone" is probably one of the most cliche phrases out there but there's a reason why its so cliche right? Because it's true. People wouldn't have overused that phrase if it wasn't so true. I thought that my friend would be with me for a long time. We're only 22, I thought. We have plenty of years ahead of us. I was never so wrong.